Chat With Foreign Men Foreign Men Seek African Ladies For Chat & Marriage. Join Free Today! It is a bit of a cliche to say that you can truly love another only when you can love yourself - with all your perceived weaknesses, mistakes, etc. It is also a cliche to say that love is acceptance; we've all heard that many times. Honestly, though, how many of us truly accept ourselves? It seems like the less the person accepts him or her-self, the more desperate the search for a partner becomes - that one ideal partner that will accept, love and cherish you forever. Being so conditioned to look for love - as well as everything else - outside ourselves, the desire to find the one and only soulmate seems to dominate a huge part of one's life. Many of us grow up without the essential education of one's heart - to know how to connect, care and nourish the energy of true love and caring in our own hearts. This self-love does not mean you will not want to be in a partnership, it mostly means that you are not desperate to be in a love relationship, especially when the Valentine's Day comes around. (By the way, St.Valentine was all about love expressed as genuine energy of admiration and appreciation towards all living things, and not only towards "the mine, the one and only" soulmate.) The paradox that you might have noticed in your life is that you find what you want only after you surrender the want. The other paradox that we might touch upon this week is that love only grows stronger when it is given the trust and the freedom to grow. You do not need to create or control the flow of love, because, when allowed, love will create a new being out of the old you. It takes two strong and secure in themselves people to allow this beautiful experience to flourish and not let the energy of clinging, controlling, fear and all sorts of subtle manipulations to destroy the precious energy of love. If you are looking for your soulmate/life partner, what is the best way to go about it? Do you surrender the want for love or do you focus on it completely and with a very clear intent?